Found Your Soulmate? Welcome to Hell


Let's get something clear: you have more than one soulmate.

And this person's going to wreck you.

Seriously, they're going to ruin life as you know it and destroy everything you thought you were.

And guess what?

You asked them to do it.

Okay, not you right now in this body with your skinny jeans and addiction to Beard Papa cream puffs.

The Spirit You up in the shiny lights place that's keeping track of your karma and having full-body orgasms all day long (plead the 5th on how I know that.)

You made a contract with your soul group - the gang of badasses you chose to hang around for eternity - that you would help each other grow. You would act as mirrors and teach the Universe's lessons. Basically, that you'd

Lessons don't always feel so good, do they?

Wait, So Who's Actually "The One"?

The Gosling rowing your McAdams boat?

The dreamy husband who completes your life?

Your best friend and confidante and lover, the Sartre to your de Beauvoir?

That would be your Twin Flame.

And When Do I Get To Meet Him?

Next lifetime.

No for real.

You will run into soulmate after soulmate through friends, roommates, pets, lovers, maybe your husband if you guys can make it through the "Ow stop mirroring all my negative traits" phase.

But your twin flame might not incarnate this lifetime.

I know. Suck.

If you're deep in the woo, you might sense your twin flame already. You might be conversing with him on some astral plane, getting it on in your dreams, whispering secrets since childhood.

And you might never meet this entire lifetime.

That's okay.

Or you might get nothing. Just a sense that you'll never meet your half here on earth. Just a blankness that says, "Not this round."

So okay.

Be happy with your soulmates, learn your lessons, do that little earth dance and keep moving.

You're that resilient. You're that complete.

And if you're not feeling so complete? Keep loving your soulmates. They'll get you there - it's their job.

They're preparing you to meet your twin flame.

Be ready. 

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