soulmates

Your Obsession with Feeling Good Is Keeping You From A Real Relationship

Everyone watches Oprah, does yoga-hip-hop (#realthing) and Instagrams inspirational quotes. They're told they no longer have to feel shitty. Everyone has a chance to quit their jobs, divorce their spouses, fuck who they want, and live their dreams. DOWN WITH THE OLD!

But this is only the first stage.

Following good feelings is only ONE aspect of the diamond we call soul transformation.

Unfortunately, it's the shiniest one. And now modern culture is stuck on it.

Found Your Soulmate? Welcome to Hell

Let's get something clear: you have more than one soulmate.

And this person's going to wreck you.

Seriously, they're going to ruin life as you know it and destroy everything you thought you were.

And guess what?

You asked them to do it.

Okay, not you right now in this body with your skinny jeans and addiction to Beard Papa cream puffs.

The Spirit You up in the shiny lights place that's keeping track of your karma and having full-body orgasms all day long (plead the 5th on how I know that.)