Breaking Up is Hard To Do…3 Tips from The Dating Trenches

I share this story with all of you who are going through a breakup, have gone through a breakup or have a friend who’s trying her best to make it through Valentines’ Day without gaining twenty pounds.

Put bluntly, breaking up is hard to do.

And it’s especially hard if the relationship ends in the first three to six months.

I’d like to share 3 tips from the dating trenches to help you through heart-ache and to understand why the pain can feel more excruciating at three months in than at three years

Are Extreme Fantasies Safe?

Genderqueer dom Sinclair Sexsmith of Sugarbutch interviewed me on mental health and kink - WATCH IT BELOW to hear the biophysical basis basis for healing in kinky sex and how your sacral chakra can give your life oomph from the bedroom into the outer world:

Do you need to heal from trauma? Want to turn your sex into your power generator? Set up a #tigermom consult TODAY

Sophia's Debut Article on Elephant Journal

After my toxic relationship this year, I almost gave up. I poured my raw soul into what I called The Last Personal Ad I'll Ever Write. Now an international journal has picked it up. 

I hope it helps you honor your desire to see your dreams come true. CLICK BELOW TO READ:

Women DO Love Assholes - But Not for Why You Think

Women DO Love Assholes - But Not for Why You Think

This is for the ladies who love the bad boys.

Who've stayed too long with unavailable men because the sex was damn good. (Hand raise.)

And yes, fellas who can't get away from crazy chicks, you're included too.

I want you to know:

You're on to something.

What We Need to Learn From Douchebags

No More Nice Girl. Be Your Crazy Self.

After all this time, after 3 feminist movements that did more harm than good for dating (don't stone me feminazis, I was a Women's Studies major too), after all the vote-winning, doctorate-earning, business-owning and in-leaning, women are still dissatisfied, chasing after men, and wondering why they're single.

I'll tell you why.

Because you're stuck on being nice. Yes. STILL.

All Your Sex & Relationship Problems in One Word

Plastic surgery. Diet/erection/libido/anything pills. The Game/The Neg/any get-laid-quick scheme.

Marrying and divorcing as often as you trim your nails.

Paying for sex/intimacy/conversation/anything that humans are wired to do for free.

It all comes down to one thing.

Laziness.

There. You can save thousands in therapy bills now. 

Your Obsession with Feeling Good Is Keeping You From A Real Relationship

Everyone watches Oprah, does yoga-hip-hop (#realthing) and Instagrams inspirational quotes. They're told they no longer have to feel shitty. Everyone has a chance to quit their jobs, divorce their spouses, fuck who they want, and live their dreams. DOWN WITH THE OLD!

But this is only the first stage.

Following good feelings is only ONE aspect of the diamond we call soul transformation.

Unfortunately, it's the shiniest one. And now modern culture is stuck on it.

"Mohawk Preferred": How to REALLY Make a Dream Guy List

Be very careful what you put on your dream guy list. Here's why:

IT REALLY WORKS.

Do's & Don't's

DON'T: Include physical characteristics

I don't mean "athletic "– or it's better re frame: healthy/takes care of his body– that's a lifestyle and character trait. Physical characteristics mean eye color, hairstyle, clothing, body type and similar externals.

INSTEAD: Focus on character and values

Found Your Soulmate? Welcome to Hell

Let's get something clear: you have more than one soulmate.

And this person's going to wreck you.

Seriously, they're going to ruin life as you know it and destroy everything you thought you were.

And guess what?

You asked them to do it.

Okay, not you right now in this body with your skinny jeans and addiction to Beard Papa cream puffs.

The Spirit You up in the shiny lights place that's keeping track of your karma and having full-body orgasms all day long (plead the 5th on how I know that.)

What Surrender Really Looks Like

Are you ready to sit with pain in your heart and not a single assurance that you still have a relationship - without losing hope?

Are you willing to surrender every shred of your ego in the name of love?

Are you ready to hurt so bad, you wonder who you are, to feel so lost you cry every day, to show up broken and realize you're actually strong?

The answer is No.

How Surrendering Gave Me Everything I Ever Wanted

No, I'm not one of those Independent Women who opens my own doors to a Beyonce soundtrack. I've always been a relationship girl: my goal in life to meet and marry my soulmate.

Instead, I had one turbulent failed relationship after another. I'm talking pan-throwing, wall-punching, labia-tearing (don't ask) turbulent.